Kayla Renee

The Power of a First Impression

FashionKayla FarhangComment
whattoweartowork3

Did you know that a first impression is made in the first 7 seconds of meeting someone and over 50% of that first impression is based on looks alone (what you're wearing, your hair, nails, shoes, perfumes, make-up etc).  The second most important factor is how you say something and coming in a distant last is actually what you say.  So while we may say "don't judge a book by it's cover" there is no denying that we all do.  And knowing this, why not take advantage of it? 

whattoweartowork1

Today I gave a speech to high school students about the power of a first impression and how we have the power to create that impression.  Seeing that I was giving a talk on impression management, I thought it was really important that I well...made a great first impression.  So, first I thought about what three words I wanted to convey about myself in those first 7 seconds: smart, fashionable, fun etc.  Then using those words, I chose something from my closet that I thought conveyed that message.  I introduced myself and then asked them to immediately write down 3 words about me.  I got "well put together", "smart", "fresh and clean", "chic", "fashionable" and some other very kind words.  

whattoweartowork2

Clothes are Like Girlfriends

FashionKayla FarhangComment
girlfriends
girlfriends

As I was helping a new client clean out her closet yesterday, I stumbled on a lovely piece of wisdom I thought I would share with you in today's post.  At this point in my life I have realized that it's best to only surround myself with positive friends.  In my younger days, I spent a lot more time with people who were energy drainers: gossipers, Debbie Downers and the like.  You know the ones, you always leave their company feeling sad, bad, depressed or bothered.

As we were sorting through my clients clothes I said, "you know, clothes are a lot like your girlfriends, you only want to be surrounded by the ones that lift you up and make you feel good about yourself and get rid of the friends that make you feel bad about yourself."

So every time we came to a certain item up for debate I would ask, "Does this make you feel beautiful?", "Does this make you feel sexy", "Does this make you feel happy?".  If the answer was no, said item ended up in our heap of clothes on the floor.  By the way, it is ok for your clothes, like a friend, to make you feel comfortable.

5 large garbage bags later, we had gotten rid of most of the Debbie Downers in her closet and were left with a much happier closet!

My Pursuit of Happiness

When I Grow UpKayla FarhangComment
happiness
happiness

"You're always so happy".  That's what my husband said to me last night.  And instead of brushing it off, it stuck with me and I'm still thinking about it this morning.  The truth of the matter is I really do feel happy the majority of the time...like genuinely, truly happy.  But this isn't some stroke of luck on my part, I have actively been pursuing and studying happiness for about 7 years now.  Well, more specifically, I've been in search of my purpose and while doing that have come across some pretty profound truths that have made me a much happier person.

Around 7 years ago, I remembering telling my therapist at the time, "I wake up every morning and feel like I have a ton of bricks on my chest and my job in the morning is to slowly remove those bricks one by one".  I was 27 and depressed.  I had everything I was supposed to have: a successful career, a brand new condo, a nice car, but I was not happy.

I thought, "what a fraud!".  I did all the things I was "supposed to do" like do good in school, get a good job, go on vacations, so why wasn't I happy?  And even more worrisome, if I have all this and am still not happy, how will I ever be?

Great Changes
Great Changes

And this is where my journey began.  I became a ferocious reader and student of Deepak Chopra, Eckart Tolle, Kabbalah, and the list goes on.  I was obsessed with figuring out the purpose of life and how to be happy.  I started looking at my life as a way to experiment with these new ways of thinking.  Hey, what I was doing wasn't working for me, so why not try something else?

From the countless books I've read and lectures I've listened to, here are the few nuggets, I've picked up along the way that I always use as reminders:

create
create

I am not a victim, I am a creator. For me an important first step was realizing that I wasn't a "victim" of the universe.  I was actually the creator of my universe.  In other words things weren't happening to me, I was creating the things around me.  I had actually been quite successful at creating the things I was supposed to have (career, house, etc).  Ok great, I'm a creator, but what am I supposed to create that will bring me happiness?!?! 

Realize your unique light and let it shine!  If, like me, you are wondering what to create for yourself to make you happy, look no further than the things that make you unique. Maybe you love nothing more than baking cookies, maybe you love painting your nails, maybe you're obsessed with reading, maybe you love nothing more than making people laugh, or maybe you love working out.  Instead of diminishing the things you love as hobbies or not important, realize you love those things for a reason.  And this will be your first indication on your path to purpose and happiness.

You are the light
You are the light

Don't be jealous of someone else's light.  It's so easy to look at what someone else has and to want it.  Girls with straight hair curl it every day and women with curly hair pay to have it straightened.  Jealousy is a very dangerous emotion, it harms both people involved...the person having the negative thoughts and the person whom it's directed towards.  So instead of focusing what other people have, start a daily practice of counting the blessings in your life and saying thank you as often as possible.

Jealousy
Jealousy

See obstacles as opportunities.  Ok, so this one may hand's down be the hardest.  When you're in the shit and life is super hard and your perky friend comes up and says, "hey, it's going to be OK, just look on the bright side".  We all know we want to hit her.  But, here's the thing, look back on the obstacles in your life and see if you really see them that way now.  I now see that the chronic migraine problem I had in my 20s lead me to quitting my job, finding a career that I love and choosing a much healthier way of eating.  So was it something "bad" happening to me or a not so subtle reminder to change my life?

obstacles
obstacles

Pray.  It took me a while to realize this, but I now see that the best selling book "The Secret" was just a new way of saying "pray".  And I think it was pretty genius.  Because for many people like me, prayer had gotten a bad rap.  Too many "Hail Mary's" and "Our Fathers" growing up had desensitized me to the power of prayer.  Prayer is focused attention also known as the law of attraction.  What you think about, you create.  So I started praying again and it is amazing how quickly I started seeing things change in my life: being at the right place at the right time, running into someone who would inevitably help me along my way, getting money right when I needed it, etc.

prayer
prayer

Listen. Listening is the second part of praying, also known as meditation.  If you're so busy running around chasing your to-do list and checking off the boxes, how will you hear or see the messages and signs that are all around you?  I personally think we all need to add more stillness into our life.  When you're still, your mind clears and solutions and answers come to you much more quickly.

Believe in divine, spontaneous inspiration.  Do you ever get a really great idea?  And you see the whole thing from start to finish?  Normally it's a new idea, something you had never thought of before.  But then, out of nowhere it just comes to you and you see it so clearly.  Well, these are gifts.  And it normally requires you to take a leap of faith or to get out of your comfort zone to move forward with the idea.  What we normally do with these gifts is to get excited at first, but then find all the reasons why we shouldn't move forward with it.  When I move forward with these ideas is when I find big miracles starting to take place in my life.

silentydrawn
silentydrawn

Take your happiness seriously.  No really...make it the most important thing you do every day. Surround yourself with things and people that make you happy.  Lose the friends or people that suck energy from you.  Paint your room a bright color, wear brightly-colored clothes, get a dog, go for jog, soak in the sunshine, go to a comedy show...all of these things are SCIENTIFICALLY proven to improve your mood.  Most of us spend more time each day thinking about what to eat than we do what will make us happy.

joy
joy

Seek out people that inspire you.  Maybe this is your preacher, maybe it's a therapist, maybe it's a blogger, maybe it's your next door neighbor or maybe it's all of the above.  I try to surround myself with people that inspire me or at least make me happy.  Just like I go to the gym to keep my body in shape, I need these 'personal trainers' to keep my soul in check.

people
people

Help others.  Your purpose involves helping others or bringing them happiness.  How do I know this?  Because it's everyone's purpose.  No exceptions.  Just look at the happiest people you know and most likely you'll find a very giving person who is always thinking of others.  This doesn't mean you need to join the Peace Corps, it can be done in small ways every day.  I had the MOST amazing manicure and pedicure the other day.  Not only did the woman do an impeccable job, she was so nice and full of joy that a month later I'm writing about her because she left that big of an impression on me.  She helped me.

Purpose
Purpose

I would love to hear any thoughts you might have or any words of wisdom or nuggets of truth you've picked up along the way.

Happy Monday

xoxo, Kayla

The Simple Things in Life

FashionKayla FarhangComment

IMG_1769There's this quote I love by Paulo Coelho: "It's the simplest things in life that are the most extraordinary".  And it's the simplicity of this dress that I love the most. IMG_1851

As a matter of fact, when I look back at my fashion choices over the years, it's always the simple things that really stand the test of time: a classic cut, a great fit, a beautiful color.IMG_1794When you choose a simple dress, you can have more fun with your accessories.  A bold necklace, a dramatic earring, a fun clutch or in my case these leather caged booties.

IMG_1817This would be a perfect dress to wear to a wedding shower, engagement party or even a more casual wedding on the beach or in the park.  It also looks great just with a pair of flats for a more casual, everyday summer look.

IMG_1826

Sometimes less really is more.

IMG_1849

 

Dress, BCBGeneration (similar): $78

Caged Shoe, Zara: $99

Bag, Zara: $99 (now $59)

 

 

 

Wedding Season: What to Wear

FashionKayla FarhangComment

IMG_0450We're women, but secretly we're all still little girls at heart and sometimes you just wear something that makes you want to twirl!  And this skirt from Express is one of those things.  It's a black high-waisted fit-and-flare skirt which maybe normally wouldn't have caught my eye, but it has this 6 in or so sheer band that just makes it so unique and special. IMG_0457

Wedding season has officially started so I've been getting a lot of questions about what to wear to weddings and I think this is a great option for a formal or semi-formal wedding.

IMG_0449I love how classic it is (Audrey Hepburn, anyone?), but it's still so unique and on-trend with the sheer paneling and cropped zip-back tee.

IMG_0454

I also love that it's separates because I hate when I buy a dress, wear it to one or two events and then it just hangs in my closet.  When you buy separates you can mix and match and make several different looks from just two pieces (post on that coming soon!).

IMG_0451

I stumbled across this sketch of Audrey Hepburn from the movie Sabrina shortly and it just proves that some looks are timeless.

Audrey_Sabrina

High Waist Sheer Panel Skirt, Express: $79

Cropped Zip Back Tee, Express: $49

Black Stecy Heels, Steve Madden: $79  (also seen here and here)

Pretty in Pink

FashionKayla FarhangComment

IMG_0433_FBAh, I just love this dress!  I feel like Sophia Varga must feel every day of her life. I feel like if I were cast in a movie, I would be the classy girlfriend of someone who works in the drug cartel or a very important publicist of some sort.  LOL, you get the idea...I feel good in it. IMG_0427And how sexy are these Steve Madden strappy sandals?

IMG_0430Oh, and the exposed zipper down the back?

IMG_0419Yeah, I feel sassy in this dress.  This is the first piece of pink in my closet (normally not my color).  And did I mention it's only $50?!?!  What!  Yes, you heard me right.

IMG_0420

This dress would be great to wear to a wedding or to the office (if you're some high-power cool publicist of some sort like Samantha in SATC) or on a date (and god bless you if someone's taking you on a date where you get to wear a killer-sexy dress like this).

IMG_0424

Pink Dress, Zara: $49

Colorblock Bag, Zara: $99

Black Stecy Heels, Steve Madden: $79

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Black, White & Red All Over

FashionKayla FarhangComment

IMG_0410Black and white stripes.  Check.  Amazing Silhouette.  Check.  Sexy low cut back. Check.  Under $50. Check. IMG_0412This is just one of those dresses that you just slip on and immediately feel sexy and confident.

IMG_0414And is there anything sexier than a low-cut back?  I didn't think so.

IMG_0413

This is a great dress for a shower, wedding, date, special occasion or no occasion at all (other than looking and feeling fabulous!)

IMG_0403

Black & White Dress, Zara: $49

Stecy Shoe, Steve Madden: $79